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Hey Mamma. You know that wall you just hit? The one that made you walk outside and sit by yourself?
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The one that makes you hate yourself for not loving them enough, but knows that you don’t take a single breath that isn’t for them?
 The one that makes you hate yourself for not being more, but knows you have given everything you’ve got?
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That wall that makes your chest hurt and your eyes burn, but somehow doesn’t prevent you from hissing “just. Do. It.” In your most terrifying mom voice when your 6 year is distracted, again, from his one little task?
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The wall of emotional overwhelm that you are being driven into by unending waves of passionate desire to be the greatest mom for them and the inadequacy of mere humanity?
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Yeah. You know the wall. We all do. We all hit that wall. We lock ourselves in closets, hide on back porches, climb into our cars, bury our faces in our pillows, and we kick and scream at that wall.
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You know why?
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Because a parent’s capacity to love is greater than our human capacity to do. We are limited. But the greatest passion God created was the love of a parent for their child. So we fight the limits. We push them and we move them.
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You are more. I am more. Our greatest challenge is finding a balance between self-growth and self-destruction. Because, mama, if you measure yourself by what you wish you were, you will implode.
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But you have the strength to walk back into the house and snatch that 6 year old into a bear hug. You have the strength ready for you to ignore the mess to read a story. You can. There is grace. You can get up. You can wipe away the tears and put on a gentle voice and move forward. You can have a better next moment.
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And as you find grace and step forward, you will grow. Just like going to the gym or unrolling our yoga mat, you will grow with each choice towards discipline. So breathe deep, roll up your sleeves, and keep going!
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You can.
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You Can.
